Sum it up yo.

1:26 am 26/04 Monday

So many things happened over the weekend. but i just cant stay up to type it all coz its all just too much and im super sleepy. More tomorrow (if i remember)



2:30am 28/04 Wednesday

Mums birthday last night :)
just finally got relaxed over stupid CITP assignment.

I know this is weird. I dunno but its as if he can read this or something. But im soo excited about YFC Camp. B made a comment about my latest dp ... with shannon which obviously looks as if were like having a night out or something. But yehh i guess its nice to know there is people out there who actually care about you. I mean i know my family- mum dad and sisters (most times =P) do, but knowing someone you hardly ever talk to, or only occasionally is making an effort, really does feel kinda awesome :)

12:21AM 29/04 Thursday

So many people keep telling me about the how i need to be more confident or wotevs. I shall take that more seriously, especially this weekend, i will need to put a happy face the whole time :D :D :D bahaha

Ayyayayayayai

My heart is beating so fast i dunno why. Maybe coz the thing i was scared of doing is about to happen unless chicken out again. FAR OUT DUDE

God please be with me at this time.

Mid - Sem Break chyeaaah

So I've re-evaluated the things i need to do for the rest of the semester.


Take early walks.

This is so I'm more focused on things I must do everyday, and so I'm not just sleeping in and wasting time. Hopefully by doing this on a regular basis, I will be more alert and attentive, so that I can succeed in whatever I want to [maybe not accounting though grrr].


Reflection Time :)

Well im hoping that maybe before and after I go to uni [which ever] I can spare some time to go to church, or if not church, somewhere quiet like a park or something. This is so I can stay calm, focused, and keep a positive attitude for everything.

errr Spend more time on accounting!?

After today's exam I have realised that if I don't start working my ass off in this boring subject, I may just fail which would be a waste of time and money. I don't want to be like this girl in one of the U:PASS sessions who is in 2nd yr and had to redo the subject again. And she even admitted that she didn't do anything in the subject the first time around, as in she never did her homework, never attended lectures and never attended tutorials. All this she proclaimed while drawing love hearts on the group poster.

So yeahh I need to fix that up.

Um other things on my mind right now is that Credo thing. Just when i thought I had the gutts to quit it... I dont. Grrr Please someone help me.


Ohh and I know this might sound weird, but I really think the guy above is on my side. I mean He always was, but I can sense it becoming greater due to my change of attitude in the past week. Like last night, just when I thought I was seriously screwed for the exam, someone sends me their group's notes which had the answers!!! Although that wouldve helped me heaps ages ago, it still did something!

Ohhh and I also watched The Hills and although I'm not a huge fan of it because it is like soo scripted and fake at times, I really liked todays episode. It was something about Whitney and Lauren going to Paris for Teen Vogue photoshoot. And they showed Paris and I was just like love ;)

And Lauren met some guy and he took her around on his scooter and I was just like love ;)
It was just soo cute and romantic. And I was just thinking how funny it is that I don't exactly know how to ride a bike... so learning how to, with some hottie, on the streets of Paris would be a dream!!! Paris definitely on my list. What list, I dunno yet, but on one of em LOL

So yeahh ... I'm just sitting here on the lounge... home alone I think... trying to organise so many things in my head [mainly uni related stuff], but also financial wise. I mean I'm 18 now and I'm starting to feel a bit hopeless coz I don't have a job and yadah ydah. Like I don't want to keep asking my parents for money... thats just slack. And I really need to be more independent. Like this weekend I have two 18ths and I dunno how I'm going to survive that... then I have that Credo social thing, which I should be out of anyway, and then the YFC camp - although Ive already paid for half of it-. So exactly how that New Zealand thing is going to happen ... I dunno now.

Like I said its either we win the lotto before then (!!!) or I get a job ASAP and work my ass off. Which I dunno if its worth it, expecially if I can't handle all the uni work since the conference is in July, and I would need to focus on uni work more than other work!

Mehh so many things to think about. Just when I think everything is cool, something pops up. I will have plenty of time to think about this, especially since I now have just under 2 weeks of uni break... Ohhhh Yerrr. =)

Life, or something like it.

02:15ppm [Later that day]
19/04/2010


So I just had a workout this morning coz I decided to attempt studying for accounting in Kogarah library since I needed to download the lecture recordings anyway.

And well... it didn’t get me much. I started downloading 2 lecture recordings...and then the wireless internet in the library decided to die on me. So basically I went all the way there with this massive heavy laptop only to go on facebook. Well I did go on the discussion boards but it just gave me a massive headache.

The other thing on my mind, besides the exam, my breaks, and getting a job... is New Zealand!!!

I mean I seriously wanna go soo badly...and the fact that it’s only like $400 bucks or so to go is killing me. I mean I don’t have that money, but if I had a job it wouldn’t take that long to save up grrr. Lazy asss.
Ohh and I’m always thinking of random things. And the Martins and me and my sisters are always writing these lists of our dream life. Haaha then we decide to bury it somewhere like a time capsule, but it never works. I mean we never end up burying it, and we just find it lying around the house somewhere.

SO, I’ve decided to record the personal things that I would write on them here instead, and just keep adding to them :)

It sounds sooo sad and lame, but I reckon I would find it entertaining in the future bahahha.

So basically the things I want in a guy:
• Someone with a good body & works out a lot. So that you know... he not only looks hott but will also motivate me to keep fit too LOL
• Someone who can sing. Ok obviously its not my first priority, but I am always day dreaming about a guys who will sing to me, like dedicate a song at a party or something and mann that would be cute and sweet :P
• There is this other thing too... but I need to think about how to write it and explain it otherwise I will look back and think WTF that is just creepy Simone, just creepy LMAO
• And the other thing that was on my mental list that I can think of at the moment... someone who can ride a bike! BAHAHAH like seriously I don’t know how to ride one and it would just be funny.
And in terms of baby names... [noo i’m not the only sad person out there... Sabrina has a full long list on her fone!!!]
• Ariel [girl]. I don’t know why, but I think Ariel is kinda a unique name, and it dosnt sound soo...boring &... bogan!? Bahaha I dunno, it just sounds so classy!?!?

• Joshua [boy]. Josh. I dunno but when I think Josh, I think of all these hot celebs, or these hot guys whose name starts with a J.


Gahh this is soo sad but hilarious. I better get onto the Practical questions of my exam. But yeah I shall update this list every so often... my “Check list” hahah

[omg btw I bought the Good Charlotte album ‘Good Morning Revival’ coz it was only $10bucks at sanity... and it takes me back to so many things for some reason]

Not just another Sunday.

19/04/2010
Monday [technically]
01:15

From now on I think I will just type my blogs on the laptop than paste it into the actual site on a later date.

This is for a number of reasons, some being:

1) Our internet it way too slow
2) I have too many exams and assignments, Facebook is already a distraction, so once I go onto the world wide web... I can click on anything and I will just get way distracted
3) I’ll actually write more, and when I’m thinking it ...rather than waiting when I can actually get on the internet (Because its that slow) and then forgetting what I was going to write
4) Plus it looks heaps neater when I write it here on word ?

Anyway I handed my first university essay on Friday!!! Go me ? But I highly doubt I’m going to get a credit or anything for it haha. I seriously only had 2 days to do it, and I only started it when B left. Fingers crossed it gets a pass at least!? Well Rosemarie helped me edit it till like 4am and we were both sure it was pretty decent.

And at the moment, well I’m about to go to bed after a long day which included accounting study for Tuesday’s Exam!?! And no my next line is not going to be a rant saying “!@#!@# I’m so screwed” because well, surprisingly I’m calm. I don’t know why, maybe because I know I can do most the theory questions because one of my classmate whose in 2nd yr gave me his notes. I know this might sound stupid, but I think it’s like a sign hahah.

Like I seriously thought I was screwed in the past week when it really hit me. But then all these random things started to happen. Like when B left he said he’d keep me in his thoughts, then on Facebook Tita Dona said she was proud of me (When I thought of these things... I seriously got all teary, like even on the train or daydreaming in class LOL)...and I really started reflecting on things, and praying and so I think God is somehow helping me get through this easier. Like okay everything isn’t working as perfectly as I planned or how I want it to be, but then again does anything in life? As long as I get through it, then that’s all I can ask for right!? He had a life planned for us anyway, a destiny and things will happen for a reason.
Like for CITP we organised something with the tutor which is not making it such a pain as it used to be, and for IIS we finished our latest group assignment which I personally thought was a pass (After all our team name is “A +”). And I actually finished my MPO essay, which wasn’t that difficult. And well accounting, I feel confident that I can tackle most questions; I mean how hard can it be right?

And I don’t know, but honestly I’m glad Kuya B actually did persuade Monica to go to that YFC camp. Even though she’s only been home for a couple of hours, I can already feel that it has made the house somewhat more calm, and peaceful. Like me and Dad went to Bankstown to observe the last activities and I actually wanted to be a part of it LOL. She actually looked so happy and I quote “Best weekend ever... I wish it never ended” I mean it even looked fun ? and I loved the atmosphere and their attitude towards praising God and the support they give each other, about what exactly – I don’t know yet, but it just seems cool ?

Ohh and Monica told me a few stuff, like all the girls who fancys B LOL. I guess that makes us proud to be his cousin haha.
So yeah I’m actually super excited about the YFC mega camp which I’m going to with Amy and hopefully Isabel if she doesn’t become a bigger stress head and just comes already!!!
I just feel like life is heaps easier, as in the challenges that I’m about to face is somewhat a breeze. It sounds so cheesy, I mean I would think things like this earlier, like why aren’t we as ‘religious’ as our other cousins living elsewhere, like on Dad’s side of the family. I mean Mum’s side is kinda excused since most of them live a different lifestyle here in Australia, and half of her siblings don’t even practice going to church and stuff. But yeah, I just like it now. As in I like what I can see that will come out of all this.
During my uni break this week I’m going to try and redo my resume and apply for a job. I really want to try and go with Monica to New Zealand for the conference in July. Either that (I get a job) or we somehow miraculously win the lotto or something LOL!!! How awesome would that be... *sigh*
Ohh yeah and something else... in Facebook news now... [Haha seriously its like the social networking thing of today’s era...”Where did you see/ hear that?”... FaceBook!!!]
Well on Friday it was Monica’s Birthday...and because she deleted me off her friends list ages ago (fr obvious sibling reasons)... I decided to say Happy Birthday on my status... it went along the lines of
“Happy Birthday to my sister monica who blocked and deleted me on facebook :P”
Bahaha and all of a sudden my cousins and stuff started commenting on it.., Ate Tin, Ate Trish, Ate Muri... then there was Tita Dona LMAO!!! And Sabrina even “liked” it and commented because she too was deleted due to a recent incident between them two (something about Sabrina blocking all family members on FB from seeing her wall...then when Monica asked about it, Sabrina apparently lied, then she got all pissed). Well I thought it was funny.
And Clarisse and I have also been having late night “msn video call chats” which gets rather interesting :P
Ohh and I wrote the other morning on my FB [yeah yeah haha] something like “Oh the joy of waking up to a pile of books.” And someone commented ... “In ten years you’ll be waking up to a man.”
Bahahah well yeah it was funny, and as Tita Dona added to that person’s comment “Hopefully it will be sooner than 10 years” LOL, well yeah it got me thinking... what will my life be in ten years (OMG I will just be turning 3 DECADES ewwww)

I would have graduated by then, hopefully have a decent job where I am at least happy with what I’m doing, have a hottie of a husband, children, you know a nice life ... but what I really wanted to know was... where would I stand then. As in will I attain that close, deeper, meaningful relationship with Him. But then I just thought to myself... “Why are you wandering.” I can know the answer to my own question now. What I do now can determine my future. No matter how difficult circumstances may be, I still have the power to keep Him with me at all times.

So yeahh... I guess the main point to my blog, not that I try to have a point every single time, I mean just simply recording my life maybe for entertaining purposes haha, is that being closer to God, whether through prayer, reflection or whatever, really lifts the weight off your shoulders haha. I mean it really feels as if the hurdles and challenges I was stressing about in terms of the future, its really nothing. Because I know He will always be there watching over me, helping me through times of trouble etc, and in return I should really be thanking Him more, simply because He is AWESOME xD.
01:49am

Emo-tion

So its monday. Handed in that stupid freakn CITP assignment.




And then had to endure 3 hours of the boring workshop.


Now Im printing MPO notes and hoping praying that i will get through this. I dunno why but lately i've been all emo. I think its all the stress and knowing people know about it. I mean not that i'm trying to hide it or anything. I'm glad they actually care. Like beside the random messages i got from Nz cousins, I Tita Dona also told me on fb chat (lol) that she was proud of me. And that it is my future, so the only person i need to impress and not let down is me :) aint that sweet.


Well im happy and thankful to God that im surrounded by people who care. I just need to see it more and not take things for granted.


OMGOSH i just totally had to stop typing coz i got all teary.


Anyway i think its just this feeling of being not homesick...but lost. And I just miss so many people right now. Expecially Lolo in the Philippines... I badly want to go and visit, and see him and everyone else.




WTH is wrong with me... I wont stop crying LOL.





Anyway i went on fb to see this message thing from God. Its an application and i was just curious...and this is what it said:

" On this day of your life, Simone, we believe God wants you to know... that
you are a human being, not a human doing:

Take time to just be, breathe slowly, to feel your body that is the temple of
your soul. No activities, no worries, no buzzing."

Well I wish i could do just that but i know its not going to do me any good failing these subjects.

I think after these exams im going to have to plan my relaxation and reflection times. Because it may actually be more worthwhile, instead of me thinking that is exactly what im doing every day, then wasting my time, when i have soo many assignments, then panicing like this. Indeed it is insane and i have completely lost my point and blabbering on now.

Back to study :(

Now I know why.

I have soo many assignments: essays, reports, and exams to study for this week.

And i just had to do it last minute.

I think i didnt know why i didnt stress out earlier. I guess because B was here so
the place was pretty calm.

And now that he's gone i've realised the mess i have now put myself in. I told so
many people i was going to cry. I didnt know it was actually going to happen.
I walked out of the toilet just then with blood shot eyes. What an idiot i am. Im hoping this
stupid assessment will be done by 4 am. So then i can at least get like 3 hours sleep. And then crash tomorrow when i get home. But then then i have stupid MPO to do.

then theres all this YFC registration i have to do. Currently trying to get isabel and amy to come along.

I think B picked up that i was kinda messed up and stressed about this whole thing. Coz joey randomnly sent me a msg asking if i was alright lol. Well i;m going to try and keep calm for the new few weeks. And pray that God will be with me, to guide me through this stressful time

Clubbing

OMG yesterday was so much fun. I went to my first clubbing experience in world square in Town Hall.

And OMGOSH it was funny.

Kuya B's friend Christian was there and he was hilarious. Everything he did and said was funny.

And we had gaytime :)

Now I have to do bloody essays and reports due on monday so hopefully i will at least pass. That is all i can ask for at the moment.

What a draaaaaaaaaaaag

Today is Thursday.

Although I don't hate it as much as Monday, it's still long & boring & annoying & long.

I finish at 9 tonight so I'm gonna be exhausted.

And I'm still screwed for accounting. I tried doing my homework last night and it took forever.
And I'm still not finished because they didn't give all the answers arghh.

Definitely not majoring in accounting that's for sure!!!

Hmmm let's see if I can survive today

Reliving HSC all over again

So its currently 2:25 am and i am super tired but i wont sleep until i know i've actually dones some study. Today was kinda weird.

Well we went to the airport to pick up my cousin :) lol it was like we were his entourage or something... pretty hilarious

Then i had to rush to uts library so that i could catch up with my accounting in a small group study session. I was like WHAT THE HELL in my head every minute. Im sooo behind in accounting its not funny, and unfortunately its not like something i can learn just like that. Mid semester exam is coming up and im totally !@#$!. I mean i seriously thought the whole interest rates and RBA stuff in eco last year was a total #$%^ coz i didnt ever understand it... and now stupid 22107 accounting hates me.

Me and accounting shall never be friends.

Anyway i needed a break from retyping my notes so i log onto fb. And theres this one girl in particular who frustrates me soo much, especially recently. I mean yeah i understand and respect that everyone has different views opinions and religious beliefs, but the things she posts are just plain rude. Like just pathetic. Its not even funny. Im trying to control myself right now because ive been tempted to just write something back and tell her off or something. And its soo annoying when people around me who are super awesome and nice are like soo do your friends all believe in this and that, and im like err no not really. But if there is one thing i have learnt from all this small group meetings with credo, its that in life we will come across a lot of people who in our eyes have somewhat 'lost their way' in that maybe their views on particular things are just different from majority. And we should'nt discriminate or look down upon them, because we are not saying we are "THE BEST" or anything like that. So all we can do is pray and stuff, pray and have hope that they will find a different path to follow and guidance to that. I don't know if any of this is even making sense coz i am currently deprived of sleep. But yehh it just pisses me off i guess.

Well in terms of Uni, its getting annoying. Like reeeeeaally annoying.

I think ive said enough about accounting. My other business subject MPO is like @!#! because I cant even decide on a question because they are all like W@#$@!!!

CITP is still !@#!$%%$%@#$I(*^&%$$% x infinity

and IIS is doing alright i guess.

Gahhh and easter was just over, and most the other schools are currently on a one week study break but NOOO UTS has to be different and wait till after mid sems for the break. Im hoping i will agree to it when it finally comes.

So yeah easter was awesome i guess. Well pretty ordinary but it was still nice... you know same old same old with people over.

Ohh and i totally got bored last week that i moved the furniture around in my room, and if i say myself, it looks pretty good. I mean it makes the room look bigger. I should take a picture and post it. Ohh and i just randomnly thought i might add that i am currently in love with Full House the show (with Mary- Kate and Ashley). I know its old and kinda cheezy but i cant help but look forward to when its on. Hahah sad, but i want the whole show on DVD :P

But yeahh this uni thing is really getting to me. Im prob gonna start being pissy till exams, and thats not really a good thing when you have a cousin over from overseas visiting. And it doesnt help that everyone else is on holidays tooo so i cant really study in peace, hence why im currently studying in the kitchen at 2:42 am... less distractions i guess.

Im just hopeing thing will all work out and just get better.