I was looking the other day at tumblr because i've come across a lot of awesome ones lately. And it looks heaps simple but complicated at the same time. LOL
i dunno, i think i'll just stick with blogspot for now.
Anyway, so i was on Facebook and just came across my cousin's tumblr.
AND it's no surprise, i finished reading one of the posts and i was like wow!
He is seriously such a good writer, i mean i've read a couple of his posts and notes and he clearly articulates his thoughts and writes things in ways that make it all seem so amazing and powerful!
One of the quotes that he had in there that i really liked was
“The best time to plant a tree, was twenty years ago. The second best time is today.” -Chinese Proverb
And i understood it straight away because its something i always think about. I think i think about it probably even on a daily basis.
Because things go wrong. And I always think, if only i could turn back time and do this and that in certain ways. But then if you think about it, it happened for a reason, so now start changing and do things in ways that will bring out the best in you NOW and stop sooking about it! This same wise guy also said, that "While it's good to hope in what God has for you in the future, where you are now is where God wants you to be. And you gotta see the beauty in that too." (i think i blogged about this a few weeks back)
Many times i think,
"if only i could turn back time to a particular moment."
But what if i were to go into the future and say
"If only i could turn back time to this particular moment ..." The very exact moment now, where i am wasting my time thinking if only...
okay yeah i dunno if this is all gonna make sense whan i read it again down the track.
Basically we think there's nothing we can do about things because its simply lost in time and there's no point starting again now, But we shouldn't get discouraged and should just put all our trust in Him, like i mentioned in my previous post, and then we would have no regrets of if only . . .
On this day of your life, Simone, we believe God wants you to know ... that change is the very nature of life, - welcome it.
No glass ever became sand again; No bread ever became wheat; No ripened fruit ever became a flower. Welcome change, and choose what kind of glass you create, what kind of bread you bake, what kind of fruit you harvest.
Seriously where on earth did the time go!
So its week 5 already at uni and im already feeling sfd#@$@#
So I did my talk on Wednesday, and I dont think I did too bad :S
It was like a group of 7 guys in a small room, and I me reading! And Crystal said she's on placement now every Wednesday so I might have to help out more than I though this sem. Like I gotta organise the weekly meetings and all which is kinda a scary thought.
I went to USYD's meeting the next day and I must admit, they have a good bunch of peeps there. I mean the people full turn up on time and actually wanna be there, which is kinda different to UTS where we gotta nag people :S
But yeah that's something I gotta change I guess, well attempt to anyway.
And at the meeting a lot of questions and sharings were herd and I kinda feel like I was relating to them so much. I mean it's not easy. But we just gotta keep having faith and perseverance.
As said in the awesome book ;) . . .
So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to preserve so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
- Hebrews 10:35-36
And I got the programming assignment today. And honestly, its friggin scary. I need to put soo much more effort in it than i thought. But hey, can't say they didnt warn me!
Marketing is okay i guess, pretty simple. Economics :S need to revise economics all over again. But thank gosh I did it last year, otherwise i'd be sooo darn screwed.
And Web Systems. Well I'm slowly getting it :S
Ohh and Monica has her HSC Music Performance thing on Thursday night. And I must say, she was pretty damn good :) Good job sis!
I feel as if i’m only starting Uni this week because I’ve been skipping a lot of lectures and classes because it clashed with that receptionist job.
So everyone is out and i’m home alone. Monica is probably at work or something and everyone else went to the Saturday markets in Marickville.
I’m currently sitting outside on the back porch because its actually a nice warm sunny day and there isn’t many distractions out here, unlike earlier when I was trying to write this inside, in front of the tv.
Anyway so many things have happened this week, that I felt like I really needed some quiet time to reflect on all the things that have happened. I mean, I haven’t really prayed a lot these coming weeks, and I’ve stopped going to church to pray before uni, and when i did pray it was all about me and what i wanted.
So I went on facebook and found a link to the New Zealand CFC YFC blog and read a couple of inspiring sharings. The latest is about prayer, and focused on the meanings behind the passage
“Ask and you shall receive; seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7
He explained it in the three different parts and it really made me see things a lot more clearer. Like say the bit Seek and you shall find. With so many things happening this week, I was praying all the time only for God to help me cope with everything that I may be struggling with. But the thing is, I really didn’t do much to help Him. I just asked him for things and expected Him to just magically help me just like that. In the sharing I just read about, the guy explains the story of Jesus feeding the 5000 (John 6:5 – 15). In this passage God could have easily gave everyone bread and provided for the hungry. But instead the disciples searched for food, and in their seek for it, they found a young boy who freely offered what he had, and turned it into something greater. So basically when we ask God for something, we need to help him and actually work for it too. And if we reflect and question what it is we really desire, we may see that He has already provided it to us, but we are looking in the wrong place and miss the opportunities that God had laid ahead for us.
And take the last bit Knock and the door shall be open. If we knock on His door for help, He will open the door and help. But its the notion of actually being bothered to take those steps to walk to it, and knock (like talking to him through Prayer) that will actually get us there. I mean God will listen and provide so long as we put in the effort to get there.
And once there He will give us more than we need, and will bless us with much more than we could ever imagine.
So i think this is something I really should be thinking about at the moment. At the moment I’m worried about falling behind in Uni and at the same time trying to find another job that is flexible so that it won’t clash with study.
All week I’ve been negative about everything to do with uni. Saying "eeeeww I have class till so and so” or saying and predicting that I’m already going to fail some of the subjects this sem.
But Why?
If I let God in then He will help me. I just need to give Him that time and talk to Him. Like seriously Websystems and Programming at the moment are killing me. But now I think about it. It’s only week 4 out of like 10 and so I can turn all this around. Put effort in it and seriously He will help if I just put all my trust and faith in him.
“As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.”
So yeah. I’m going to organise and start planning my week. So that I can get back into my old study mode. And become more positive about it.
I’m also going to do a talk this week and I’m pretty sure its going to be the first meeting at UTS for Spring Sem so I want it to be relevant as well as make my fellow CB friends think and reflect on all the good things that are yet to come this Sem.
Also this morning I read the newspaper. The first few pages were on the election. Yesterday I voted for the first time, and voted for Liberal because many of my YFC friends wrote a lot of things about the Liberals, and many I strongly agreed on, like the fact that Tony Abbott is against Abortion and he is an active Christian. Although I feel like i didn’t really take the time to reflect and think for myself. As in question a lot of the things. Like just because he is Christian doesn’t make him good if his policies aren’t the better choice for the nation and it’s economy.
But yeah once I skipped through all those pages in the paper i came across the page about the soldiers in Afghanistan that died last night. In the article there was a picture of one of the soldiers with his two young daughters aged 8 and 10. They were the most gorgeous little girls I have ever seen and their smile made me smile. And to think that now they are without a father made me really teary. I read the whole article and it said that when their dad wasn’t deployed he was very active in his daughters’ activities despite being divorced from his ex wife. And I don’t know, the whole thing just made me really upset because I’m sure those happy little girls in the picture loved their dad so much, and now he is gone.
It just really made me think about myself. I’m lucky that nothing like that has happened to my family or friends. And so I should live each day knowing that God has given me so many opportunities in life, and I shouldn’t waste it. Take university for example. I have the opportunity to study unlike a lot of other people in the country and everywhere else in other countries. So I should strive for excellence and not just throw it all away, because it may even one day help me to help others in a few years... where hopefully I will be starting a career and at the same time use the opportunities and challenges I have been given to Know God and make God Known!
On this day of your life, Simone, we believe God wants you to know ... that God doesn't give you what you want, God gives you according to who you are.
Change who you are to change your life.
So yeah basically what I’m going to try and do this week is spare some quiet time to talk to God and pray.
I saw this other thing on facebook where someone started an Active Prayer thing, where everyday at 12pm, no matter where you are, who you are with what you are doing, we are all praying to our One awesome God :)
So this week I am really going to be more self motivated and to know Him in a way of becoming Dependant on Him and his plans for me.
I mean I love Lady Gaga because she tries to be an individual and stand up for herself and her 'Little Monsters' but the way she just does it, is just bad. Bad Gaga.
Then Kuya Bryan made this note about the whole thing and media and all that and it was such an appropriate topic.
" BUT.. hey.. just because it's on the internet (where we spend so much of our time these days) shouldn't alarm me as much as the realization that it's in REAL life situations too... some people no matter if they're Christian or not, will fight for their beliefs. But for Christians like us specially, since God calls and commands us to Love one another, and since one of his messages says that we are nothing if we have not Love, one can only hope as a Christian that these correction's are out of love for those they correct, to show truth, rather than to reassure one's self that one knows the truth and boasts about it...
for just as 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 says, We are nothing without Love, and it is Love that never fails."
Today he sent out another message to everyone that was tagged in that note. And it seriously got me thinking. It's time to proclaim the messages God is teaching us through things like this, Lady Gaga and the media etc. Kuya concluded that he hopes today is a day God has given us to continue to mould and challenge us as a person He wants us to be.
Well besides bludging today (its Wednesday, my only free day from work and uni) I am also going into UTS for a YFC Core Meeting. I've never been to one because things clashed with the last ones, and I dont really know what the difference is between a core meeting and an ordinary meeting that i've attended all last sem, but im sure its something more serious. Especially with Campus Camps coming up yeeeeeeeeehaaa :) And so hopefully today I will feel like I have fufilled God's wish for us everyday, to be more like Christ and share that with others.
2010 Semester 2 - Campus Missions (NSW)
But yeah I just took my massive Lady Gaga poster down. It's pretty big, so there's like a massive blank space on top of the chair where it use to be. But i plan on doing a couple more artworks and hanging em up there :)
But then again back to Lady Gaga, Kuya's purpose in the second message was kinda like a split message to us, but not really. I mean this time he said to remember to dislike and avoid, even go against the sin and not the one who misses the mark. For God wants us to love those hard to love.
I kinda know what that means, and I kinda dont at the same time. Something I probably need to reflect on later on in the week.
And he left another quote by the awesome Mother Teresa :)
So many things have happened since the last post. I think i was too afraid to write in this during the last few days because i thought there were other things that I needed to stress about, and i simply didnt have enough time to write in this. And i must admit, the same goes with reading the Bible and taking time out each day to reflect on the many blessings and challenges God has given me. I guess the facebook app that tell me 'What God wants me to know on this day' is actually relevant:
"On this day of your life, Simone, we believe God wants you to know ... that the voice of God is best heard in silence. All too often loud events and daily busyness cloud your vision of God. Take some time to slow down; let there be silence, let there be peace. Calm your mind and let your inner voice re-emerge from the silence. Allow yourself to see visions, allow yourself to dream dreams; and you may hear the voice of God reaching out to you. "
Well one thing is... praise God that i got the job. I think i was pretty much the only candidate for it, but obviously they still wanted me to go through the process of interviews, and all that formal stuff. Pretty scary, but I will definitely learn a lot from all this. I mean, these were only a few interviews of many in my life. In terms of the job, well its great :) There's some things which were a little confusing at times, but basically all I do, and the other receptionist who have trained me, is watch things online. At first I was like... seriously!?! But hey, I cant complain, loving it :) She actually introduced me to this new show - Psych. Kinda like the show Monk but not really. It's pretty funny :)
In terms of uni, well its not too bad I guess. Not fun or anything. This sem I know for sure its the IT subjects that I really have to focus on - Websystems and Programming Fundamentals :S
And in terms of YFC life, well its been pretty good I guess. I have kinda stepped up and I've been assigned a couple of girls to take care of. I know though that it's going to be a challenge. But it's been great. Like I've been hanging out with a lot of them recently, meeting up with them during uni breaks and whatnot. And yeah its just great :)
I guess I better go now and have a shower since it's pretty late and I have to get up early for work tomorrow. Hopefully there wont be too much things to do so I can finish of the final OC season =P
Ohh and I stumbled across this quote. Stolen from Belinda's Facebook status, stolen from Grey's Anatomy:
"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we... want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need."
I quickly browsed through one of my favourite sites, and this quote came up which is sooo true, especially to me recently. Like there's so many things I looked back at, little things, and thought Simone you made a fool of yourself, but then I think about it, it could have been worse, and so what!?, what am I going to do about it now ? . . .
Nobody escapes being wounded. We all are wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually. The main question is not "How can we hide our wounds?" so we don't have to be embarrassed, but "How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?" When our wounds cease to be a source of shame and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers. Jesus is God's wounded healer; through His wounds we are healed. Jesus' suffering and death brought joy and life. His humiliation brought glory; His rejection brought a community of love, As followers of Jesus we can also allow our wounds to bring healing to others.
Henri Nouwen
So yeah. And yesterday I spent the afternoon hanging out with Eman in the city. It was awkward at first because I never really hanged out with his him in Sydney, but we were with him everyday in Auckland. And its weird that I feel like we've known him forever, when I had just me him a week before OLC, at the NSW Delegation Party.
Anyway, I didn't really need to get anything in the city. I guess I just wanted to hang out with people, especially people in YFC since I know its just a great community, and I just want to get to know as many people as I can.
So yesterday we basically went to St. Julian's in the city, then had Hungry Jacks, then went to QVB to the Hobby/ Toy Store, then the Apple Store, then back to the Toy Store.
I asked him a lot of random questions, like how he got to be so close with Kuya B. And goshh the way he spoke about Kuya was like woahh. Hahah it made me feel really lucky to be related to him LOL. But yeahh apparently they became real close back in the last OLC in Nz 2006, then they caught up again last year in Canberra. I think they spoke to each other a lot, as in online and stuff. Apparently they were leading a camp both at the same time so he talked to Kuya a lot, and I’m guessing he also talked to Kuya about his mother’s passing. But yeah I felt really touched by his sharings, and the same goes with all the other ones I heard at OLC. He really sees Kuya as an idol, someone who gives such great inspiration. And when I think about it, I don't blame him, because it's so true. And it probably isn't obvious at first, because the way Kuya goes on about it, he just so cool, laid back, easy to talk to and just so so so .... humble! Everyone should strive to be, or well even just live, like him! I'm sure everyone single person who has ever met him would agree that Christ really does shine within him!
On Tuesday we’re going to have a UTS Hangout at Parramatta (because its central to everyone except me of course! No one leaves in Sydney East !?!). And yeahh I dunno, but I’m kinda excited for that. I’m excited to share my experience from OLC. For some reason I also have a feeling though that they are going to talk to me quietly about leadership, since they’re both graduating like really soon. It’s kinda a scary thought because I still feel like the new one, but I know if I’m given this opportunity, it’s because of Him, so he will be guiding me throughout the whole thing. So yeah.
I’m also considering having a party at my place for my 19th. I dunno who to invite though, coz there’s so many people who I feel like I should invite, but I only met them like once. So we’ll see.
And yeahhh I can’t wait till the 1st of August so that we will have our internet back!!! And I’ll upload some of the photos. But for now, that’s it.
Yehh so on the train this afternoon, after the exam, I wrote down my initial thoughts on my phone...
On the train, just stopped at Sydenham. So, that was the longest 3hrs of my life. No joke. And I'm never going to pull an all - nighter again before a 3hrs exam! FML. I'm not even going to talk about how I reckon I went. Don't want to jinx it. But gah. And like seriously 20 minutes into the exam I could not keep my eyes open! I even thought about going to the bathroom to wash my face, but I knew even that wouldn't wake me up. Fck it. I'm just praying for a miracle, just a bit more than a pass is what I need. But I guess not everything goes as planned. So if I have to repeat it, then I'll do just that. We can only learn from things and move on from it I guess. There's nothing stopping me from moving forwards towards the things I want out of this life.
So yehh I got home just after 1 and I was so exhausted, I pretty much went straight back to bed after that.
And when I woke up there was a party in the house.
I didn't want to get out of bed, but I couldn't stay there too long. It was good actually because I got to talk with Tita Mel, and as always, she made me realise a lot of things.
I didn't want to talk about the accounting exam so I told them about MPO which I love wayy more, and so I showed them my essay.
And she said it was really interesting, because she actually likes reading about Managing people since she is now in charge of a team consisting of 20 people who all have to report to her.
So yeahh I dunno its really interesting, like the relationships and ways to manage individuals. I mean you can't just google a strategy and read the intructions and implement a plan just like that. It's a working progress which takes time, patience, a lot of effort, but in the end it seems like she has had a rewarding experience, which has taught her so many things.
Like yehh I can most probably see myself doing a similar corporate type job, but at the same time she shows how you can still enjoy life, and with a positive approach, there is less burden and more freedom. It's not as if she is stuck in a cubicle with people she has to boss around, because at the same time she has formed great bonds and relationships with them that makes their time spent together more worthwhile.
She seriously knows a lot about history too, well I guess being married to people like Uncle Pat does that =P. But yeahh its really interesting. Like she said that people like Shackelton can back up these ideas of leadership, because although they did not conquer their initial goal (something about going to the Antarctic and placing a British flag there I think...) yeah, despite not being able to do that, Shackelyon was a great man because he was able to at least bring back every memeber of his team alive despite the harsh conditions. He knew how attempt doing such great tasks and control people. That's not even the right word for it. Like his great spirit and enthusiasm kept them all alive. It's incredible. She said she'd lend me her book on it which should be interesting.
And she also told me this other really interesting story about the Dunkirk or something, how the British people saved so many French soldiers or something when they were being attacked by the Germans. And like they could only be saved if they were lead out of the island or whatever by boat across to England, and all the British people, like ordinary people with ordinary fishing boats, all came out to save them despite the great risks.
But yeah. I guess what I'm saying to myself is that the path to our dreams and desires is not a smooth one. We will face things that we don't want to like these stupid exams and stuff, but in the end if you keep striving for it. You'll get there. But just enjoy it while you're at it.
Okay im nearly finished cleaning my room...its still pretty messy...but i blame it on the disorganised use of 3 massive wardrobes which only contain 1/4 of stuff i actually own.
Still waiting on the big built in wardrobe with a massive mirror so i can stare at myself endlessly in my own privacy lmao!!!
Anyway its like 3:46am and recently ive been hearing/ telling people about those freaky- true to life stories so i dont want to sleep just yet.
Ohhh and i also started this fairy puzzle for the 5th time since i got it in like 2003. I finished it in 3 days apparently :) ...says it in the back of one of the pieces
Anyway yehh i dont want to sleep for that reason and because im confused still on what i want to do as in my uni preferences which must be in by the 6th. Anyway i think my mum knows best so i let her look at the courses and suggest stuff to me. And everytime she called out one...all i would think is ..."How would that sound when i told people!?"...hahah as in like "Does 'Bachelor in Science and Information Technology' sound lame???"And it prob sounds stupid...i mean youu dont bloody choose a course just because it sounds smart. So thats what ive been thinking...like is it worth travelling to Macquarie University just because i want to do commerce...because it sounds good...and "Do i really really want to do something in economics/ commerce-y stuff??"
Anyway yehh so ive been thinking heaps...and i looked at some of these quote books we have lying everywhere in the house...and it sounds lame as...but some are actually totally true and motivational...so yeah im in monica's room at the moment trying looking at some of em, and i think im gonna post all the ones i think are awesome and i want to remember during times like this in the future...
This is gonna be one long post...so here it goes .... ;)
"Most people see success as being rich or famous and influential. Others see it as being at the top of their profession and standing out from the rest.
The wise see success in a more personal way; they set it as achieving the goals they have set for themselves, and then feeling pride and satisfaction in their accomplishments.
True success is felt in the heart, not measured by money and power." - Tim Tweedie
"Unless you walk out into the unknown, the odds of making a profound difference in life are pretty low." (Days when im feeling lazy haha) - Tom Peters
"At least once a day, allow yourself to think and dream for yourself." - Albert Einstein
"It is not what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable." - Moliere
"There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly." - Buckminister Fuller
"I dream for a living" - Steven Spielberg
"The brain simply beleives what you tell it most. And what you tell it about you, it will create. It has no choice." -Chandler Fuller
"Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe we are gifted for something." - Marie Curie
"Nothing great was ever created without enthusiasm." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"It's all about following your bliss, losing it, and finding it again." - Natalie Chapman.
"Don't follow your dreams, chase them." - Anonymous
"The Path to a dream is paved with sacrifices and lined with determination. And though it has many stumbling blocks along the way and may go in more than one direction, it is marked with faith.
It is traveled by belief and courage, persistence and hard work.
It is conquered with a willingness to face challenges and take chances, to fail and try again and again.
Along the way, you may have to confront doubts, setbacks and unfairness.
But when the path comes to an end, you will find that there is no greater joy than making your dream come true." - Barbara Cage
"If there is one characteristic that all great champions share, it's an enormous sense of pride. That's true in all walks of life. The people who excel are those who are driven to show the world - and prove themselves- just how good they are." - Nancy Lopez
"When you have a goal in life that takes a lot of energy, that requires a lot of work, that incurs a great deal of interest and that is a challenge to you, you will always look forward to waking up to see what the new day will bring." - Susan Polis Schutz
Success is... "...Not measure by how well you fulfill the expectations of others, but by how honestly you live up to your own opportunities." - Linda Principe
"Clear your mind of can't" - Samuel Johnson
"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T.S. Eliot
Ohh and someone on the train not so long ago told us that "If your mind can conceive it...you can achieve it" xD
Wow i don't think i've typed like that for soo long since i had to write essays at school... well i wont be too happy about that since im going to star uni in like 2months and it will prob be equal in torture.
So yeah its now 4:38 and i think i better go to bed pretty soon...mum asked yesterday if we wanted to have that chinese porridge stuff that rosemarie likes at hurstville for breakfast...so hopefully i will be up for that...i really wanna go out...its like im prisoned...i need to be freeeeeeeee
Well thats most of the quotes i found in books...there are heaps more other ones from my fav shows like gossip girl which i think are pretty funny and true to life. But i had this thing called HSC all year so i kinda need to catch up badly!!!
And i dont know if this is going to work in my early years...but i really dont wanna spend my life "living to work" as id rather "work to live"... well after i get those bloody expensive and incredibly cute pair of jimmy choos...and have a wardrobe looking like this ....lmao Hopefully i can remember these random things to keep me sane through this year and achieve my personal goals...and the resolutions lmao. Kuya b just wrote that i didnt have to go along with the playign guitar thing unless i wanted to...well i do and i'll show people i can actually do something lol...and they can see it for themselves when i post a new vid up on youtube of me and clarisse doing another random weird thing haha.
