Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Results in less than 4 hrs

OMG i cant sleep. I just got out of bed after lying there for over an hour and made myself milo.

Im so so scared for the results. Apparently we can check em from 6 am. So i dont think i can sleep until then. Its freaking me out. And i'm not telling anyone what i get until i get accepted into a uni course. Seriously...im going to lock myself in my room all day and just put my avril/emo cds up full blast.

I'M SHTT SCARED


And this one girl in my yr found out today that she came first out of the whole country in business studies. Lucky biatch.

Im so scared!!! I'm prob gonna have a heart attack after i see the numbers when i log in. Im just hoping that i passed everything. Fck if anyone asks what i get im gonna say none of your business. And i'm going to try not to log onto facebook for the next two days because all the smart bitches will have statuses that will make me depressed.

I could even receive it by txt...but the idea of waking up and seeing my marks on the fone is kinda scary. i'd prob smash the phone.

All i want is to get into my preferences. Thats all. Please God im begging you.

Today i also cleaned my room and tried to rid it of any traces of HSC so that it wont make me even more upset after i check my results tomorrow.

Whats even worse is that tomorrow is just the HSC exam marks... the ATAR comes on thursday in the mail. So thats another sleepless night. Gahhhh. On Thursday around 10 o'clock im going to sit on the front porch ready to snatch the mail off the mailman.

GAHHH i hate this. I just want to succeed in something. Please God make that HSC!!!!

Argh and i just painted my nails bright red the other night. But i bet by friday it will be all chipped cause i will start biting them or something because of the whole nervous thing that HSC has on me. Fck.

I think i'm making a big deal out of this thing, because so many people find other ways of getting into university or find other ways of being successful. But I think its coz my mum puts pressure on us... she wants to go tell her friends that i did well blahblahblah. But im sorry mother... not everyone is perfect. I tried my best so hopefully she will settle for that.

Isabel sent me a message today after i sent her one saying i was gonna drown myself after i see the results. Well shes a woman of wise words...and she seriously helped me get motivated throughout this year...making little cards and stuff. Anyway she said to
Hope for the best. But prepare for the worst.
Which i guess is true. Whatever i get is whatever i get. You just have to move on

[fuck i just saw a cockroach go into my room. Thank god im sleeping in the top bunk. But what rosemarie dosnt know wont hurt her ;) ]

Anyway yeah. I think i can stay up for another 4 hrs till 6 am.

Please God give me a decent mark. At the moment im trying to prepare myself for a shit mark still. Opening the envelope on Thursday and seeing something in the 70s. But i dont want to jinx myself

Grrr. And on Friday one of my cousins from nzl is coming. So hes prob gonna think i'm weird if im all depressed still because of my marks.

(omg someone just made a group of fb- All I Want For Christmas Is Good HSC Results & A High ATAR - funny)

I think i think if i keep tping on this 6am will come sooner. I wish.

Anyway i'm off. Wish me luck.

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