HSC summed up

So there's only like a day left before i get my atar. And i cant lie. I'm shit scared.

I personally think i've worked hard this year...but of course its not good enough.

• Mathematics

F*CK!!!! If i ever have kids who come home telling me they suck and hates maths... i will happily reply "No worries... its not the end of the world." Maths wrecked my life. Teacher was nutts. Could never ever memorise all the freakin formulas...it just hated me and i hated it. I think i probably cried over algebra. And i hated saturday afternoons... because i had tutoring and i would just panic at the papers put in front of me. In terms of the final exam OMFG it was like "Get me out of here NOW" 5 minutes into the exam.

• English

I have a feeling Clarisse will somehow find out about this blog. So im not gonna scare her =) even though i know she won't hate it as much as me. All im gonna say is gahhh

hate BELONGING...

i never ever want to think about that concept... how its evident in the film, poem or novel...what techniques the composers are using...what is the effects of such techniques... and what is an appropriate thesis!!! Thank god i had Andrea there to give me ideas of the concepts in Frankenstein...i mean i still can't get my head around the "sublime nature" wtf is it!?!
Paper 1 - the common paper- can kiss my ass...i can't believe i wrote the essay using 2 related material...when it said ONE and i didnt read it...omg i wanted to kill myself after that.

• SOR

Our teacher sucked. She was never there. And we never learnt. It was a bludge with Mullens and Pantz.

It was during these lessons that i came up with the finest works of scribbles and arts all over my books

But i must admit i did love it. I was getting really good towards the end. My essays were a surprise to me...i actually wanted to turn Jewish at many times lmao... Hassidism (significant school of thought), Synagogue services (significant practice), Bioethics- HATED IT (read the inside cover of my folder)...Then there was Christianity... i was the queen of Hildegard of Bingen.

Then there was the final exam. I was so happy and confident. I mean how hard could it be for a one and a half hour exam!? BUT NOO they had to put in some freaking annoying question we had not practiced for section III. I nearly cried and died in my seat! Everyone was talking about it after...there were topics already created hours after the exam on the Bored of Studies forums...it was talked about for soo long. I counted on SOR for my maths exam... but of course i had to be in the year where they fcked up the exam!!!

• Economics

Eco Eco Eco. Where do i start. I loved it. But the teacher just didnt work well with my ways of learning. He had this favourite in our class...and it was always her who got the round of applause...always her who had the EXCELLENT essay...always her who was excused for a wrong answer...to him...she was basically perfect. I'm actually surprised my head didnt explode.
Don't get me wrong... Mr crump was a great teacher...but he just didnt get the excellent teacher award. Yes i know im probably just saying all this coz my rank was hmm let me see... 5/5... but hey they were all nerds!!! Double prd lessons was like torture to me (because i had him for geo too!!!)
The exam was kinda okay...but eco wasnt always my strongest exam...i mean there was always so much content and i just didnt see how easy the stuff was till later on.

• Geography

I loved this class because i always thought half of em were stupid so it was pretty easy. But i seriously think because i had my crump again i just got so lazy in his classes so ranking wise...not too good. The only thing i loved about this subject was the excursions.
The exam was actually easy...i think but i dont want to ginx myself. I just hated how we had to draw a precint map or wotevs...mr crump sucked at skills so he never really taught as any.

• Art
  

What can i say about art. I love Miss Burton only coz i want to stab Miss Haymen. She was a fckn b*tch who didnt give a fck about anyone. I seriously thought about killing her tires because i knew what her fugly orange car looked like when we drove pass her in the morning on the bus.
GAHHHH. Art was so so. I mean theory wise was a bludge coz i loved essay writing ONLY for
art...but the practical side of it was fucking annoying. Miss Burton made me believe that i was good at sculpture masks...and it turned out shit.
I guess you really have to be weird to succeed in art. Not that Shannons was weird or anything with all her eyeballs in her artwork lmao Nahh hers was pretty good... i mean it did get into the gallary at Hazlehurst...so it must be good...good for her .... no im not jealous lmao =)



I think thats all the subjects...im just praying to God now that i get an atar that will get me to one of my courses in UNSW (pretty pleaseee) or Sydney Uni, because i really don't want to travel to Macquarie Uni... And i just want to get my tiny name in the newspaper...even if its just one subject please God

But then again the atars not the end of the world right... theres other ways...but i still want to do good in this so please God help me. I just think its like a waste of my time...i stayed up so many nights so i want to feel as if it wasnt all for nothing.



Well tomorrow im just gonna prepare myself all day for the 16th. If i log on and the numbers not good...it can go two ways

1. I lock myself in the room and put the music up full blast or
   
2. I go to Audrey's swimming carnval and drown myself

I hope i look back at this in a few years and just laugh at how stressed i am right now. Hope. That's all i can rely on till then.